Struggles of Relationship

StrugglesRelationship is not pretty, sweet or fun. It’s hard work: very hard work. After the initial shine wears off, the relationship enters the time of the power struggles, which can last anywhere from 8-10 years. These are the realities of living with someone through those power struggles.

  • The reality is that relationship is 80% work and struggles and 20% love.
  • The glue that holds relationship together is matching neurosis.
  • Love comes and goes, like any other feeling. At times I will even dislike my partner.
  • There will be many times when I will feel unloved by my partner.
  • I trust that, at times, I will feel hurt and betrayed by my partner.
  • My partner can’t read my mind and can’t meet a lot of my needs.
  • Relationship is not safe. Vulnerability is scary and will be avoided by both of us.
  • Relationship is not fair. Each of us will feel that we are doing more than the other.
  • It is very rare to have a partner with mutual sexual needs and desires.
  • Living in the tension is the day-to-day reality of relationship.
  • Closeness ebbs and flows. At times I will feel quite alone.