Monthly Archives: July 2016

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Problems With My Partner

My partner is _____

You can fill in the blank. The list is endless: lazy, a workaholic, flighty, unspontaneous, irresponsible, overly responsible, critical, clingy, emotionally unavailable, abusive, angry, and on and on. These problems can result in fights, and eventually separation and divorce. You have tried asking nicely and not so nicely, but nothing seems to change. You have read the relationship books, set boundaries, given the book to your partner to read. While may bring about some minor changes, the problems continue.

Problems and Choices

I am here to bring you news. You have 3 choices and only 3 choices.

  1. Accept that this is your partner and learn to live with the issue.
  2. Accept that this is your partner and end the relationship.
  3. Suffer.

That’s it. The only 3 choices you have.

 


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Irreconcilable Differences

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Rosemary Macadam

Recently my partner and I had a couples session with Chris and Ronna. My partner and I were struggling with what felt like a core issue.  This issue has been present since the beginning of our relationship causing much conflict and tension. The conflict centres around the amount of time we spend with each other; I need more independent time and my partner needs more time together. How were we going to solve this? Would we be able to overcome our opposing needs and desires? When we sat down with Chris and Ronna they told us this: “At the heart of every relationship is an irreconcilable difference. Welcome to yours.” I was flabbergasted. What? You mean at the heart of every relationship is a fundamental difference that will never be resolved? Yes.
They don’t teach this in school. You will not see it in love stories on the silver screen. Hearing this really helped me, and our relationship. It normalized our struggle to hear every couple has a major difference that cannot be resolved. Most importantly, it lessened the energy around this issue. Instead of feeling stressed when this conflict arises, I now accept that we may always have this difference, no matter how much we talk or cry about it. This is our irreconcilable difference. Now that I know this is part of being in relationship, I can welcome it and see what it has to teach me.
What can the Irreconcilable Difference in your relationship teach you?